Fake orgasms are a thing. They are in just about every porn.. (OnlyFans)

Fake orgasms are a thing.  They are in just about every porn you see, as they are displayed in all their glory.  Except for guys.  As you can see, they really do cum.  Most of the time.  I know that sometimes they have to use the old lotion trick when a dude just can’t dump the cum.  It happens, not often, but it does.  Anyway, it’s funny.  Guys have the hardest job on porn and that job is staying hard.  It’s an up and down battle, pun intended, more often than not.  Chicks, well we just have to put on our funny faces and start bucking around like crack addicts.  It’s all good.  But some chicks go overboard.  So I posted a video with some of the halls of fame whacked-out orgasms.  These are some of the more overacted, odd, and occasionally downright bizarre orgasms I have seen.  Some look possessed, others ate a fire extinguisher and if you press the right spot, it fires off.  It’s on bt34gg.com , I think it’s funny, then again I do have a warped mind so you be the judge.  The password is still     stacysmom21  so check it out!

Fuck, I went out with some chick and her Starchild friend for lunch and listened to more crap than I thought was humanly possible.  She’s gay and my friend thought I might hit it off with her. I thought she was super attractive until she started talking.  For a few minutes I thought to myself, “Well, I could tune her out while eating her out.”  But after another couple minutes and more shit about horoscopes, vibes, and unicorns, I was out. What the holy fuck is wrong with people these days?  She has a college degree.  In finance, for fuck’s sake.  From the University of Ohio.  What the fuck are they teaching these morons and who is handing out the grades up there?  Ronald McDonald?  Of course, she isn’t employed.  She is holding out for what’s she’s worth.  I thought the minimum wage was up to $15 an hour here?  That’s double her asking price.  24, hot, dumb, delusional, and supposedly educated.  Fuck me.  Are they handing out participation degrees now?  Is that what’s going on?  Remember when we all thought participation trophies were like the dumbest thing ever?  We were right.  Look at these ding dongs nowadays. Unicorns?  I wanted to ask her if she was familiar with the story about Noah, you know the guy from Noah’s Ark?  Well, they found his diary. On day 26 he wrote “Day 26: Still raining but have discovered that Unicorn Pie is delicious.” And now we know what happened to the Unicorns.  Just saying.  I don’t know. I’d still lick her if someone put a piece of duct tape over her mouth.  Why am I telling you this?  I don’t know.  

If I want to do something stupid, then I should just fuck Tanner.  The18 yr old trying to get my attention who is staying with his aunt and uncle for some reason or another.  Man, if I start sucking his dick and he starts telling me about vibes, I’m going to leave teeth marks.  Just saying.  I want to do it.  I really do.  But I can just imagine the shit storm it’s going to cause.  Do I care?  Not really, but I do live here and I’m getting along with everyone.  Fucking Tanner might change that.  But I do like the thought of it.  When I see him I think his cock would be so fresh and new.  I bet it's wrinkle-free when it’s hard.  But he will probably pop off in my hand the second I get a hold of it.  It’s happened before.  But again, the sperm will be so fresh and new it makes my mouth water.  I want to smell it.  Is that weird?  I just do.  I’ll keep you posted.