Happy Wednesday. I will not say Humpday anymore, even thoug.. (OnlyFans)

Happy Wednesday.  I will not say Humpday anymore, even though this video is me humping plastic man.  Humpday is way overused and people equate it to a camel walking around yelling humpday.  I would rather just call it Fuckday.  So happy fuckday to you.  It feels like a Sunday.  All I want to do is fuck and take naps.  Ever get that way?  Lately anymore, it’s becoming a daily thing.  I need to get out more.

Never give someone a couch somebody died on.  It has death cooties.  You can almost smell them.  I don’t care if it’s leather or not.  They probably death peed on it when they went.  You can’t get rid of that shit.  Best just to burn it.  Consider this a tip from me to you.  Had a friend who had to clean out a house and wanted to give me the couch.  Brought it over and everything, without asking, I might add.  When I asked them where they found him, she said on the couch.  I was like on this couch?  She was like, yes, this couch.  Get the fuck out of here!  I fuck on couches… I fuck on couches a lot!  I don’t want my coochie touching on no death cooties.  Who knows what could go wrong from that!  I don’t want to find out.  Call me superstitious, but fucking on a couch where somebody sucked their last breath… no thanks!

Happy Wednesday.  I will not say Humpday anymore, even though this video is me humping plastic man.  Humpday is way overused and people equate it to a camel walking around yelling humpday.  I would rather just call it Fuckday.  So happy fuckday to you.  It feels like a Sunday.  All I want to do is fuck and take naps.  Ever get that way?  Lately anymore, it’s becoming a daily thing.  I need to get out more.

Never give someone a couch somebody died on.  It has death cooties.  You can almost smell them.  I don’t care if it’s leather or not.  They probably death peed on it when they went.  You can’t get rid of that shit.  Best just to burn it.  Consider this a tip from me to you.  Had a friend who had to clean out a house and wanted to give me the couch.  Brought it over and everything, without asking, I might add.  When I asked them where they found him, she said on the couch.  I was like on this couch?  She was like, yes, this couch.  Get the fuck out of here!  I fuck on couches… I fuck on couches a lot!  I don’t want my coochie touching on no death cooties.  Who knows what could go wrong from that!  I don’t want to find out.  Call me superstitious, but fucking on a couch where somebody sucked their last breath… no thanks!

Here is a helpful hint guys.  Surround your self with girls who actually want to suck your dick.  Just saying.  If you plan on marrying her, then part of her vows should be, “I promise to suck your dick in sickness and in health.”  Vice versa.  You should promise to do whatever kinky shit she wants to do as well.  Again, just saying.  Marriages and relationships would last longer that way.  Relationships aren’t always about sex.  I mean, I want to do cute things with you, like hold your hand, walk in the park, and suck your dick in the car.  Oh, who are we kidding, I don’t give much of a rat’s ass about all the touchy feely stuff.  I am going to suck your cock like I’m in love with it, because I usually am.  As in, I want to suck your soul from your penis.  Get the picture?