Untitled (Fansly)

 I feel defeated - No stream tonight 
I hate feeling like I'm complaining or venting online about my problems. 
For those that don't care or are sensitive to negative topics, stop reading here. 🚨
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It's extremely frustrating that I feel as I have had more days this year that I felt uncomfortable or in pain.. than not. 
It's one thing after another. Especially with my migraines. 

I have put so many hours into researching vitamins, exercises, foods to eat, anything to help. Nothing keeps them away. 
Then, something like a dumb wisdom tooth comes along to make it all worse. So, now I have been dealing with that on top of a migraine. 

Every time I think I'm catching a break.. something else happens. 
I have all these goals, all these things I want to do and I can't. 
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I want to dance more
I want to stream more
I want to go out more
I want to sleep more
I want to laugh more 
I want to spend more time with the people I love
I want to be more for my audience 
I want to be more for myself

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting closer to being more, doing more. Then.. time stops. Pain starts. 
The rest is a waiting game until I can try to be more again. 
I feel defeated. 
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I don't want anyone to feel bad for me. I just want to be understood. 
I hate having to make posts saying " sorry no stream guys, I have a migraine". 
It makes me angry. So frustrated. So defeated. 

I know one day I'll be more. 
I'm strong enough to get through it.
I've been through worse and came out stronger than before. 
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If you're going through a difficult time right now, it's okay. 
You're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to feel sad or angry at the world. 
Don't dismiss the way you feel. Take power from it. 
Pain is temporary. 
Life is a difficult. 
Love is what everyone wants. 
Peace is what everyone needs. 

Surround yourself with love. Find your peace. Forgive yourself. 
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 My tooth removal surgery is tomorrow. Will most likely need 2-3 days to recover. Aiming to stream the 10th or 11th. 
See you all so