#123 - TRYING TO FEEL BETTER This video is going to serve a.. (OnlyFans)

#123 - TRYING TO FEEL BETTER

This video is going to serve as a way-too-late vaginismus update 💫 Many of you subscribed because you’re either women who have experienced vaginismus, or men with partners who have vaginismus… and I want to do my best to keep you all updated 💛

 If you’ve been here more than a few months, you’ve probably noticed that our content has gotten MUCH more exciting than the videos we were posting in our first year on OnlyFans… and I haven’t explained why!

Like it says on my little bio, I’ve been dealing with pain during intercourse for my entire adult life. Our “First Time” videos (#1-7) show us using a numbing gel called Lidocaine to help me finally achieve penetration for the first time, and most of the videos afterward show us starting slow, Damien asking, “Are you okay?” several times during our sessions, and—on rare occasions—stopping sex completely because of the pain.

We had a few “turning points” along the way, the most notable being #95 from December of last year called “Pure, Pain-free Joy.” I had just gotten my IUD out, and it seemed to make the vaginismus almost disappear 💛 (It’s still one of our most popular videos!) While I do think the IUD side effects were making things worse, it definitely wasn’t the only culprit, and the pain returned a few days later.

Strangely, I did quite a bit better when we went to Ecuador in January (sex tapes #101-105). But then around March and April, things got worse…

If you were subscribed to us way back then, you’ll remember we had to take quite a bit of time off for health reasons. I’ve had something called POTS since I was in high school and I’ve been on medication ever since… but the POTS symptoms seemed to be getting worse around this time 😫

I finally scheduled a barrage of doctor appointments. I changed prescriptions for the first time… and my health *still* went downhill. In videos #116, #120, and #122, we used toys on Damien because—even though I was totally turned on—sex was just too painful.

That brings us to this video! It’s from the end of April. Damien felt so awful about the pain and did his best to make the night special for me. He was so gentle and caring... he went down on me for *much* longer than you see in the video! The pain was still there when we started to have sex… but we took it slow and ended up having a lovely time (as you'll see). What I *didn’t* know was this was one of the last times we’d have to take things slow 😃

Shortly after this video, Damien started to put the pieces together… the medication I had been taking for years, as well as the *new* meds the doctors prescribed, all lowered my heart rate and blo*d pressure. Since vaginas need blo*d to operate properly, he thought maybe there was a link.

So I said “fuck it” and stopped taking pills for the first time in over five years. Annnnnnnd—somewhere between videos #124 and #129—the vaginismus pain started to disappear!!

Before I continue, I want to make it 100% clear that I still ultimately trust doctors and I am certain I would have been in a *much worse* place if I hadn’t been medicated during my first few years of having POTS. Buuuuuut… it looks like I outgrew a lot of my symptoms… and the pills may have actually been holding me back! With my doctor's approval, I haven’t been taking any meds for the last few months and things have been SO MUCH BETTER, not just with the vaginismus, but with my health as a whole.

It appears the vaginismus was/is a the combination of several factors:


1. The IUD and meds were a big one, but…

2. …there is also a dime-sized patch at the base of my vagina that still hurts when touched. This pain didn’t improve with the rest of my health problems, and doctors still don’t know what it is. Until we find a solution to this strange pain, Damien and I will still have to be mindful of things like speed and sex positions.

3. As if all these issues weren’t annoying enough, it looks like I also have a semen allergy 😫 I know, I know… wtf am I doing on OnlyFans 😂 Not only would I feel pain when Damien came inside me, I’m fairy certain his pre-cum also made things more irritable. It’s possible this pain was also related to the meds, but we can’t really test it out until I’m back on some form of birth control. Soooooooooo… condoms for the foreseeable future. Sorry guys!

4. It’s likely that fear of both the dime-sized patch of pain and the semen allergy were making it difficult for my brain to calm down before sex, which put my vagina in lock-down mode and made things even *more* painful! And if we’re right about the meds reducing the amount of blo*d flow to my vagina… I’ve had the vaginismus equivalent of a perfect storm 😂

5. Also, if blo*d flow WAS the problem, it would explain why we had good sex in Ecuador... I was super active all day, every day!

Video #130 is the first time we realized the pain was probably gone for good… and it was just in time for our summer trip to Europe. Every video since then has been mostly pain-free sex… and I could not be more grateful.

I have no idea if I’ll stay healthy or if the POTS and/or vaginismus are just waiting to make their comeback… but for the moment, I’m happy 🥰 And this video is a lovely reminder of how patient Damien has been through every step of this horrible journey.

If anybody has been struggling with vaginismus, I hope there’s something in this post that can point you in the right direction. And if you have any questions, you can ask below in case it might help others, or shoot me a DM if you'd like to keep it private.

I love you all,
Diana ✨