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I just got home with a friend. Was so horny I shot a load while he was in the bathroom 💦 It lasted only about 3 minutes but, as I gooned, I'm pretty sure I saw god (and I'm an atheist) 🥴✨

This sums up my relationship to Feb 14th quite well actually. While, year after year, the world pours billions down the toilet to indulge the outward-focused commercial pageantry of Valentine's Day, I care about it less and less. The reason is simple - I celebrate the love of my life every day. It's not only the longest but also the happiest relationship I've had. One with someone who cares about me and continues to put in the time and the work needed to find out what makes me tick, from small things like a sketchy staircase wank, to big ones like therapy and setting boundaries. That person, for me, is (obviously) ME. I'm the one who takes the time. I'm the one who puts in the work. I'm the one who honours my past and helps me create my future. I'm The One for me. And it's not because there isn't anyone else I can count on or because I feel like no one loves me. It's because no one else owes me any of it. I owe it to myself. So Happy Valentine's Day to me for being my baby and my rock 🌹 Honestly guys, I have a feeling this one will last. Now if only I could still suck my own dick.. 🤣

If YOU feel sad or lonely today, I want you to know that's okay. It doesn't mean you're not lovable or good enough. It might just mean you've got some work to do too. Here's me cheering you on ---> 📢🤸🏻🎉

Happy Valentine's Day Bitch 💋

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