I don’t know why I stuck around him as long as I did, knowin.. (OnlyFans)

I don’t know why I stuck around him as long as I did, knowing he was doing less than bare minimum. But I did and it built up a resentment and anger in me I’ve never had before. He’s keeping me in a constant state of distress and low morale, trying to tell me I can do all of this myself when I don’t even have time or will to take new pictures of myself. He never takes me on real dates and I never get to feel good or beautiful. 

I can’t live in this nightmare anymore. As more time passes and he keeps doing nothing, I didnt recognize myself anymore. He’s just a leech and a nightmare every step of the way driving me to become more and more radical and I can’t do this anymore. I just eventually stopped being attracted to him. I only want to interact with people who value me, my time, my energy, my efforts and what I bring to the empty table. As far as I’m concerned, I am the table. If you bring nothing to the table, you can’t sit with us. 

I can’t trust him, I can’t rely on him, I can’t go to him for anything at all. It’s always fighting and pulling teeth with nothing important getting done, frazzling me to the point where I can’t get out of bed or brush my hair. I keep giving and he never gives anything towards me. I hate my life with him and wish I never wasted the past 4 years of my life trying to make it work with him, getting pulled into this fog where nothing I needed was important. I feel like such an idiot and wish I never helped him. 

One day, he will realize he should have done much more and by then i will be long gone.