That post with the absurdly long and dirty adult story in th.. (OnlyFans)

That post with the absurdly long and dirty adult story in the cheerleader costume was a success. I wrote that out of nowhere and just went with it. I don’t know what possessed me to write that but it came out of my mind. 

I just checked my onlyfans statement and I’m back in top 1 percent. Thank you for your loyalty, love and support. ♥️ it’s just top 1.9 %. Maybe one day I can be successful like the top 0.00005 % creators but I’ll definitely never ever get there with Chad and be able to relax. I don’t know how anyone could be this stupid. 

I’m writing some angsty poems to release my feelings before going to bed. I wish we were better together but I’ve done more than enough waiting for him and asking him for help. All I have is bitterness, resentment and anger bottled up in a soda bottle. He knows I’m always seconds away from blowing up cuz he won’t fufill any of my important needs. He keeps acting like I can do all of this by myself and he just sits in my bed or on my couch taking up space of someone I need ther will actually help.  I hate him. I hate this version of me. I want to be happy, relaxed and loved. He won’t give me any chance of that. He never puts love into me so all he gets is this angry hateful me all the time. If he wanted to help, he would. I can’t do this anymore and I don’t want to be broke, angry and depressed anymore with him or writing these angry essays all the time. They’re just gonna keep happening until I’ve had it and hate his guts, have assistants or mister slaves or until someone finally softens me, listens to me and helps me where I keep asking. 

It’s so hard to feel safe or turned on by him anymore knowing he knows I’m always near a breaking point and he won’t do anything to make it possible for me to relax. I just want him gone and to find other people who don’t make my life 10 times harder than it needs to be. I hate him and myself for giving him so many chances and so many years of my life. I don’t understand why he would rather I hate him than love him and take care of him but that’s just what’s going to happen. 

I barely care anymore and there’s no point in wasting my time with someone who’s going to need a tongue and lung transplants for his addictions to nicotine and hospital bound. He’s already too much work and not enough help I’m not taking care of some asshole who spent more than half his life smoking and vaping. I need someone who’s going to love me and listen to me and that’s never going to be him. I made the wrong choices giving him chances and my time. I want people who see my value and are my greatest cheerleaders or fan club presidents. He just keeps acting like nothing is wrong when there is a mountain of stuff that needs to be done that I need help with. I can’t do this bullshit with you anymore. I hate my life with you. You don’t even care. So, please. Just leave so someone bigger and better can take your place and so I can start smiling again.