Chad would rather make sure I lose all of my feelings for hi.. (OnlyFans)

Chad would rather make sure I lose all of my feelings for him and resent him than help me. He’s been on his phone all day doing things that don’t help me or make my life easier. Not even 5 minutes to help me. I just don’t understand and I can’t deal with it anymore. No job and won’t help me. He says I’m doing nothing even though I feel like I am working 24/7 managing 7 pages and he’s the one who’s doing nothing. This is insanity. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I need someone who doesn’t resent me for how blessed and fortunate I am to have this opportunity.  

Someone who helps me make my money while keeping me happy so I can make enough to make a difference. Loving him is destroying me. 

If he wanted to help me or see me succeed, he would have helped me by now. Taken me out on a date. Helped me record a 3 minute b/g video by now. He can’t do it so he aggravates me by sitting on my couch or bed all day. Sometimes, I walk in on him watching porn or looking and other girls OF’s and chatting  with them while I’m drowning in work and things that need help in real life. He’s taking the time and space where I’d rather have someone who wants to make content with me. He  makes me feel ugly. Refuses to tell me I’m pretty, important or beautiful. I end up blowing up every couple of days cuz he just keeps taking but won’t contribute enough to my life. I don’t understand how anyone could be this stupid.

I need someone who asks me what do you need? Someone who can get a boner and not steals all of my people, making thousands off of me but won’t help me. He makes it so obvious that he doesn’t love me but he still hangs out here like I’m some random roommate. I don’t need a roommate. I need a smart, high value person who can help me get to where I need to be so I can relax and work on more important stuff. You can’t even get a boner and you won’t even make my life easier or better? Why are you making me go through this much every day??? I need b/g content and you’re punishing me because you watch so much porn your dick stopped working, are you out of your fucking mind? 

He’s never going to see me from my shoes. He’s gonna keep villainizing me for asking for help. Nothing I say will get through to his mind that he needs to help put in my life or leave. I’m not a villain for asking for help or trying to get set up so that I can stop writing essays online and be able to relax. He keeps putting everything on me and making everything worse by doing nothing while I’m running on fumes. 

I don’t have any choice other than to keep crying until I have no more tears left to cry. I’m not over him but I’m over it. I don’t ever want to love again. 

He’s been my worst enemy since coming into my life and I need a best friend. Not whatever this is.