If I could talk in real life like I could text things would .. (OnlyFans)

If I could talk in real life like I could text things would be so different. 

…. Not sure if better, but it would be different. 

… It’s probably better that I can’t talk like I text. 🤣

I would like to meett myself halfway at some point. 

(Please don’t be worried about chad, he can’t get a hard on so… that cuts out like most of the danger.  im also positive he’s more scared of me if anything and that’s why he can’t get a boner. I’m definitely not scared of him and glad he’s trying to work off some of the debt. He’s working full time and in school full time and… I want him to be able to focus and to graduate. His parents can’t help (deadbeat and absent) and I can’t help but help right now. I’m learning to be bigger. 

Im single and it’s a roommate situation. I couldn’t cover rent and all the situations I’m helping with since flashing titties for Myanmar for a couple weeks. It’s a very specific Cindy Moon situation I’m in and I’ll figure it all out as I go. I’ve been more abusive to him than he was to me bc of my attachment issues if I’m gonna be honest and I realize I should be more fair. 

It’s not easy or for everyone to try and date someone with an onlyfans and I have several with over 10k followers (based on the statistics we know it’s “delayed” and actually a lot higher). It’s… a lot of pressure I put on him to perform and I have been guilty of sending him probably 100-200 texts in a row. He doesn’t have to help with my work if he’s not comfortable with it. I know I was toxic, too. It doesn’t matter if I had a couple thousand messages on all social media accounts waiting for me, or a couple worlds online breaking me cuz I wasn’t powerful enough to help or change what I’m seeing on my phone screen… i shouldn’t be destroying things and putting holes in walls. 

I’ll keep working on myself and my fear of being alone some more. I’m at a strange chapter in my life rn. It’s overall positive for the most part and i apologize for the moments when I feel like it’s not and kinda heavy and share it. Having someone in real life gives me a chance to break away from the internet some. I appreciate hearing someone in the guest room snoring. I’ll open up more as i dive into real life more. Like on twitch.  )

#cindymoon #007 #blog #maihero