I feel ashamed, sorry and embarrassed that I got physical an.. (OnlyFans)

I feel ashamed, sorry and embarrassed that I got physical and bit my roommate. (yes, he came back and decided not to leave me alone. I am thankful for that since I’ve been alone for several years. I know I’m not the easiest person to be with and I strive to do better each day. We don’t do anything sexual and are not in a relationship.)

 I don’t really have any excuses and I didn’t want to contribute to domestic violence towards men. I’m tearing up just thinking about how wrong I was in that situation. I just… saw red. I feel bad that I’ve added to my crazy girlfriend typecast look because I want to be a happy, gentle and quiet best friend. 

I think… I read too many words and opened too many worlds again today that made me feel helpless, alone and out of control. It was weird to get text messages from strangers and I also have to accept that I made another poor choice in friendship. I don’t know why anyone would share my phone number. It’s just a lot. 

(💙The crown is heavy but the neck is strong, says @maihero . Be kinder to yourself and do better next time, luv.💙)

My roommate has also done a few things in the past and I forgave him, too. I’m lucky he decided to exercise the same kindness towards me. I don’t like that I got possessed by my feelings and I want to be stronger tomorrow. I’m doing some experimental cooking and cleaning to keep me out of trouble.  

Chad Thundercock has been there for me more than the other people in my life have and I want to try harder to see him in a more gentle and complimentary light. I just felt like I couldn’t in my position and I’m going to try and make up for my mini Britney melt down tomorrow. I didn’t try to bite my hardest even though I remember I had wanted to. It was only for a few seconds and wasn’t for very long. It was still wrong. For the most part I think most people are good. We just get broke, pressed and stupid sometimes due to outside factors and don’t always get to behave humanly. I’m thankful to have not been left to my own devices and that @kevid19 called me. I know my neck and skin aren’t looking great and it’s… comforting to know people care even if they’re not getting something out of me or that I’m not always the cutest girl on onlyfans. 

He said we could pretend it was during a sexy time even though we both know I looked like a wild homeless person in my comfies when I did it. I’m a very lucky girl and I know I will find the help I need. Everything will be okay. I am loved.