Guys are funny. I give you a handjob, damn near give you a .. (OnlyFans)

Guys are funny.  I give you a handjob, damn near give you a heart attack when you cum, leave you completely wasted for the rest of the day and you call me two hours later wanting more.  Dude, your wife has to pitch in here.  I can’t be running solo here in all of this. Talk to her.  The worst thing is I kind of do want to do it again.  I just don’t have the time.  I should make the time.  It’s a good release for me, even though I don’t technically get release.  You know I wonder what is really going on in some of these marriages.  Are you guys really telling me the truth?  It’s the same story over and over.  She doesn’t want to have sex anymore.  I gotta call bullshit.  Not every woman on the planet who gets married suddenly decides sex sucks and therefore is off the table.   When I was married, I couldn’t get enough of it.  Even if it sucks, bad sex is still better than no sex.  Maybe you married dudes just aren’t going about it the right way.  I don’t know what the right way is, but it sounds good when I say it.  Do you ever just say “Hey babe, I could really use a blowjob tonight, if not that a handy would be nice.”?  I mean, if you asked me, I would most likely say absolutely and break out the lube.  I don’t know, I guess I have no idea who these women are or their mindsets, but I find it hard to believe they are sexless inclined.  It ruins my fantasy knowing that you aren’t getting at home.  I want you to be getting awesome wild monkey sex often at home, but I just want our sex to be better.  I have a thing about being numero uno.  I enjoy knowing you are thinking about me when you are fucking her.  What can I say, I have strange turnons.  I know it freaks some guys out when I ask shit like “does this feel better when I do it instead of your wife?”  Women are weird.  They act like they love sex when they are single.  Like dick is all they want.  Then when they get married, they are happy to pretend the dick never mattered.

I have to remember that not everyone is as open to things as I am.  I weird people out.  Simple things weird people out.  When I licked the sperm up yesterday, it kind of freaked him out.  He asked me how I did that without throwing up.  Very easy, I like the look, smell, texture, and taste of nut.  I like the way it sticks in my throat and the taste is on the back of my tongue for the rest of the day.  Some people like artichokes, they make me gag.  Same thing, I suppose.  Maybe not.  Eating artichokes doesn’t make me horny, just grossed out.  Eating sperm however makes my box drip a similar substance.  Its hard to figure out what people like and don’t like.  Especially if they don’t tell you.  You should just tell me.  I always ask what people like long before we fuck.  Tell me.   If me sucking your toes turns you on, I’m OK with that.  It won’t be me doing it, but I am very OK with it.  If you like licking my ass, tell me, and by all means commence with it.  If me gargling your jizz is a gag moment for you, tell me.  I will swallow it quietly.  I know some of you hate when I lick my fingers clean when you come inside of me and I scoop it up with my fingers after it drips out and eat it.  Sorry.  That’s my favorite flavor of testicle juice.  I have gone into the bathroom and eaten the sperm dripping out just so some folks didn’t have to see me do it.  I will certainly do it again.  Seems pathetic, but I enjoy doing it.  It’s almost an obsession.  Anyway, just tell me if I am freaking you out.  I will either stop it or alter it so it isn’t so shocking.  Honestly, I don’t see the problem with eating cum, but that is here nor there.

I need a new dildo.  I am feeling left out.  All these girls getting everything on their wish lists from washing machines to game consoles.  You know you are buying their boyfriend shit, right?  If it doesn’t specifically seem like a girl would wear it or use it, it’s for a dude.  Plus, buy your own damn washer and dryers and game consoles.  I got one gift that I am forever grateful that wasn’t sex related.  A Nespresso machine.  I fucking love that thing.  It somewhat work related as it gives me the caffeine boost I need to get going sometimes.  All the rest I have ever gotten have been fuck toys and clothing.  All of which I wear and still use to this day.  Unless of course it broke.  I must be hard on sex toys because I break an awful lot of them and at the worst possible moments.  If you send me toys, I use them immediately on video so its a win win.  You get to see me use them and I, well, get to use them.  So for fuck’s sake, someone buy me a dildo.  I have them on my list and in the order my vagina desires them.  Heres the link if you can’t find it in my profile for some reason or other.

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1IIM8OZGSAVIF?ref_=wl_share