Post 1 of 2 Hello everyone, and sorry for being absent for .. (OnlyFans)

Post 1 of 2  Hello everyone, and sorry for being absent for a day.  I had a long Friday night.  I am sure some of you understand.  Again, no hangover, no drinking other than one beer.  Just out till 4 AM.  I had a good time, but I was out looking for potential new dick and or vagina.   I found neither.  I have discovered the number one turn off for me.  Pay some heed to this, as it also seemed to have the exact same vagina drying properties for my friend as it did for me.  1.  I don't care about what car you drive or how big your house is.  If you must mention the size and or quality of your possessions, do so only once.  Again, let me confirm.  I do not care.  2.  By all means, feel free to offer a drink.  It shows courtesy.  After I say no, and I will say no, do not, let me repeat, do not continue to try and get me to drink.  If you do, you remind of a creeper to lazy to buy a roofie.   I didn't sell my halo for liquor, BMW's, or condos.  I sold that fucker for dick, lingerie, and occasionally pussy.   Look, I wasn't always this much of a sarcastic dick.  It took me many years of dealing with assholes to perfect this skill.

I LOVE COCK
I mean cake.

I want a T-shirt, a sexy as fuck T-shirt that says just that.  I would wear that fucker everywhere.

Here's a weird thought.  I was putting the toothpaste on my toothbrush this morning, and it reminded me of milking a dick of cum...except instead of my mouth, it goes on the toothbrush.  I get these thoughts now and then.  Just pretend I'm not here.  That's what I'm doing.

Twenty-somethings who get hammered should not be allowed to hang out with each other.  They get severely stupid.  Ask them what one plus one equals, and they will say two.  The correct answer is three.  They will be way to plastered to use a condom.

My "To do list"
1: Check and see if the shed leaked.
2: The lady who lives up the street.  Not her but her college-aged son.
3: If not, the college-aged son, his dad.
4: The chick that works at Guess.
5: Both the college-aged son and his dad at the same time.
6: Get the chick at Guess, and both guys and just get weird.

Thinking about toothpaste has me wondering.  Can I feel sperm traveling through a hard penis with my hands?  I can't remember.  Now I almost have to find out.  I hope so.  The thought of it is somewhat box drenching.  I will have to wrap my hands around it and hold still at the exact right moment, or I will screw it up, though.  Oh well, practice makes perfect.