Hello everyone. I have to head to Titusville today to see a .. (OnlyFans)

Hello everyone. I have to head to Titusville today to see a guy about pumping a baby into me. Well, a baby won't be made, but we can give our best. I'm just saying. I am seeing an old friend who happens to have a special knack for making me squirt girl goo. He turns my vagina into a gutter downspout, if you know what I mean. I will let you know how that goes later this afternoon!

I hear women complain about waiting for the towel after their dudes paint them with jizz. Who waits? I scoop it up and snack on it. That used to freak Connor out. Now he expects it. Bob used to put a towel on the bed before we started. Now he just gets up and wipes the cummy post-orgasm drip off on the towel rack and leaves the towel hanging. I wonder if he forgets and wipes his face with the cummy towel now and then?

Bob texted me. He has asked his girlfriend to marry him. Lucky girl. I would almost marry that asshole just so I could put a ring on his cock. I know it sounds like bad news, and it is. It's absolutely horrible news for his girlfriend. I'll still be sucking the sperm fresh from his testicles on a regular basis. How do you think I know he is getting married? He texted me to let me know, and the next text after that was, "I need to fuck, see you Friday." Yes, you will, Bob, and I will be looking like a dog begging at the table waiting for your dick. I should have sent that back to him. Instead, I said, "Can't wait!" I always come up with the best shit a day later and a dollar short. I need to be mentally quicker with the replies. Anyway, we are both cheating. I'm not supposed to fuck Bob anymore. Connor cut him off, or at least he thinks he did. There's no way I could give up Bob's penis. Sorry, Connor, not even for you, kiddo.

Had an Instagram post pulled down because it was offensive to some people. The exact post word for word. "If I eat another one of these wings, I will surpass a Muffin Top and go straight to a busted can of biscuits." Huh. The post was entirely pointed at me, and absolutely zero suggestion or hint of anyone else. Still, apparently, that is upsetting to some. Who are these woke idiots that have somehow been appointed the gatekeepers of what is the acceptable social norm? They are making me become the asshole I was always meant to be. (I got that one from a meme sent by a fan, but it fits, so I'm using it!) Though I never really did, I am going to make a concerted effort to not cheerlead obvious bad behavior, lifestyles, and health choices. I won't bow down to whatever nonsense they demand I accept. No more "You go! or "How brave of you!" or any other of that bullshit. If I fall on the outside of the woke crowds good graces, good, I never liked them much anyway. Anyway, end of rant.