I have a big ass clit. Fuck me, it sticks out everywhere. I .. (OnlyFans)

I have a big ass clit. Fuck me, it sticks out everywhere. I kind of like it. Other people don't. I don't care. Wearing stretch pants is an adventure in camel toe land. First, they stare at the tits, then they notice the clit, and then I see the shocked look in their eyes while they wonder if I am actually a chick with a dick. No, I am not. Though I wish I was. I would love to have a big fat penis to slip inside some hot chick's guts. It has to feel amazing. Oh, if only. Maybe that is what's scaring all these 20 somethings away? Oh well, fuck my mouth sloppy. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, my giant clit. All I can say about my clit is you will love it. The first second you see it, touch it, grab it, you will lose your mind. After I fuck you and you feel it sliding on your dick, then you will belong to me. I'm just saying. When it "cums" to clits, pun intended, bigger is most certainly better!

If I didn't do porn, I was asked what would be my next choice. I would do exorcisms. I suppose I would have to find religion to do that. I'd be looking for a long time. Would atheism work? I mean, it's pretty much a non-prophet organization. Anyway, I saw a movie with Keanu Reeves where he ran around chasing demons off. I figure that looks like a job for me. I don't know how much it pays, if anything at all. What happens if you don't pay for your exorcism? Do you get repossessed? Who knows. Who cares. Just seems like a cool job.

Went to a birthday party. The waiter keeps staring at me. I already know what's coming next, but I hope he doesn't go about it the completely wrong way. Don't read too much into this too early. I'm not going to fuck this guy, but he has seen me online. I just don't need him blabbing that fact in front of everyone. It makes shit awkward. So I get up when I see him away from the table and make my way towards the bathroom. He did exactly what I wanted him to do. He asked me if I was Brooke. I spent a few minutes with him, asked him to not bring it up anymore, and all was good in the world! Good for him. He asked if the next time I came in without the crowd if he could get a picture, and I said hell yeah, you can! Nothing eventful to report other than my fried pickles were pretty good.

I have been ghosted by a new guy. Who knows why. I don't even care anymore. I must scare them away. It's not like I'm going to eat their dick or anything like that. Well, I might eat their dick but in the best of ways. It will still be attached when I'm done. Anyway, I got Casper-ed. Fucker. Some people say I am a very revengeful person. Well, we will just see about that, won't we now.

I have a friend who thinks she is an online engineer because she can edit videos, photos and upload them online, all via apps. She has no idea what a div tag is, PHP, javascript, anything. But she claims she is an online engineer. I have licked this girl's hoo-ha. I have fingered her ass. If I didn't enjoy doing that so much, I would probably inform her that she is incorrect. She got a new vibrator, and she couldn't figure out how to put batteries into it. She asked me to help her. I figured, sure why not, maybe I'll get to try it out on her. It was all marred up when she handed me the new $200 vibrator. I asked her what happened, and she told me she tried to pry it open with a screwdriver. I looked at it and gave it back to her. It has an internal rechargeable battery. One would think the charge port would have given that away. Maybe, just maybe, if I were to tell her that her brain was an app, she just might use it a bit more often. An online engineer. Yes sir, I guess we call be whatever we want to be these days.