Let us make this happen. I am on the phone with my mechanic... (OnlyFans)

Let us make this happen. I am on the phone with my mechanic. It's a bit awkward. He's had his fingers in me, and now he has to be all professional. When will guys learn? For fucks sake, it's okay to finger a chick. She will thank you for it later. I'm just saying.

19th is when my Jeep goes in for its lift and rims. I hate waiting that long. I want it done yesterday, but such is life. Someone tip me the winning lotto numbers, please. If not the winning lotto numbers, a million dollars will be fine as well. Get on it. 4x4s are consuming my retirement fund. When I go into the shop, he better have something clever to say. Maybe "Ms. Tyler, I didn't recognize you with your pants pulled up." That would work. I would get wet if he said that.

PMS jokes are just not funny. Period.

Someone remarked that it was unusual for a lady to admit to watching pornographic material in such a public setting. Not sure about that, to be honest. Surely I am not the only chick that enjoys porn. He eluded that my liking to watch cuckold porn, which I do enjoy, but I also enjoy quite a few other genres, is mainly for men. I don't think so, but I guess I could be wrong. Many women, I believe, would soak their panties if they had the opportunity to make their husbands uncomfortable by fucking another man... and then get hooked on the experience. I know I do. Why hide it? Better yet, why fight it? My stupid boyfriend gets the absolute fucking of his life when he plays along properly. One day he'll learn. Till then, I have Bob to breed with.

I am in a group text with some chicks that think they are pornstars because they have an Onlyfans. That's not how that works, but I've been down this road before, no point in backtracking. I don't know why they even bother with me, to be honest. I'm twice their age, in way better shape, and could give a rat's ass about any of their issues and have no problems expressing my disregard for their concerns. Anyway, the one has a husband she just found out is cheating with another girl they shot a three-way video with. Shit happens. I guess he just likes trying to pump babies into her more than he does his wife. Look, we are not talking stunners here. Any of them. Would I do them? Maybe, kinda, I don't know. Depends on the day. One, yes, the other three super iffy. The husband, absolutely fucking not. He has 92 different colors in his hair, probably never held a real job, would go to the emergency room if he stubbed his toe (which I fucking hate when that happens), and generally looks like he forgot to shower for a month. Plus, the chick he is slipping his wiener in isn't America's Next Top Model material. His wife is way better, but maybe the side chick is taking anal creampies. I know if I want to keep a guy, I take a load of swimmers in my ass, and he's mine for a very long time. So, after listening to her break down via text for the last hour, I finally sent my own text. "FFS, I've met them both. If you really want to get even with her, let her keep him." And I got blocked right out of the conversation. Not before getting the message "Fuck you dumb bitch!" Dumb? I tactfully removed myself from the silliness of their lives. I doubt they will include me in the stupidity of their lives anymore. I call that a smooth move, but I could be wrong. Oh, fuck my face. I jinxed myself. Now my text is going off again. Fuck me running with an unlubed cock.