I mowed my lawn last night because there was nobody to "mow".. (OnlyFans)

I mowed my lawn last night because there was nobody to "mow" my lawn last night.  So I took some pics.  Check em out.  I have videos cumming out later today as well.  Snapchat.  No, there is no charge, but you do need to tell me you are from Onlyfans.  It's brooketylergg if you are interested.

Someone asked me what my ideal guy would be if I were going out on a date.  That's easy.  Someone who will hold the door for me and still walk around in public with me with his cum on my face.

Some asked me what would be my ideal Tinder date?  Again, that's easy.  Someone who will take me to a restaurant, let me jerk them off under the table but still have the courtesy to hand me a napkin to clean the sperm off my fingers.  It's a Tinder date. Of course, I want to touch your dick.

Do you know what's odd?  And just so you know, I blame this crap on women, not men.  I am serious when I say this. When I am in a relationship, and I knew my guy had a shitty day, I would offer to put his penis in my mouth to make it a tad bit better.  After he poured his nut down my throat, we would both feel better.  Whenever I have a terrible day, no one, not one person, guy or girl, has ever offered to lick me till I put girl sperm in their mouth.  I blame women with dry boxes and fucked up views on sex for causing this.  Having a bad day is just another excuse, and an easy one at that, for not having sex.  Which is just fucking stupid.  Think about it.  Shitty day, empty your testicles inside of me after a mind-blowing orgasm.  That has to make things better, at for a little while.  The same thing for me, get my box stuffed, plastered with jizz, left blown wide open and dripping in a heavy cum afterglow... day vastly improved.

No one can shower faster than me when I am about to get laid.  I mean, I can move out in there.  One minute is all I need, and I'm spotless.  Not getting laid, then I'm in there for half an hour.  Not sure how that works.  I am just saying.

Am I a shitty driver?  Not anymore.  But I used to be.  If I were behind you, it would be best just to pull over and let the destruction wake I left behind me clear out.  This was the early years of cell phones where everyone damn neared killed the entire population trying to text by pushing the phone keys numbers with three corresponding letters.  Remember that?  If you wanted to use the letter "C," you had to press the number 1 key three times and then select it.  And kids these days get pissed off when the phone autocorrects incorrectly. Remember pagers?  I had a few of those.  Pullover, break out your phone card, type in a 40 digit code on the phone, and catch Ebola from the handset.  Yes, the early years of mobile devices.  Remember the Motorola Brick phones?  I put mine on the tire of a moving van that ran it over multiple times because of the number of tires, and it was fine other than a scratch or two.  Now, if I accidentally lose my grip on my phone, I panic because it's 50/50 whether or not it will explode.

No, I don't live, eat, drink, sex every day 24/7.  Hence the periods I go silent on here.  Other things in life are more important.  Not many, but still, that is a fact.  I spent the better part of the day celebrating a birthday yesterday, and I had a fantastic time.  With these people, sex would be the absolute last thing ever to enter my mind.  Until I saw three guys acting like dickheads and walking into a rather nice establishment with their shirts off.  They had them in hand but waited until they got to the door to put them on.  If it weren't for the fact that they looked absolutely edible, I would have laughed at them.  But the truth was, I wanted to suck their cocks. All of them.  At the same time.  Yes, they were douche rockets.  My vagina doesn't care about personalities.  It is very shallow that way.  But, they went inside, and I forgot about it.  Till I was driving home, that is.  Then I was like, "Fuck! Why didn't I slip by their table and give them my Snapchat?  I could have gotten away with it!"  But I didn't, and what is done is done.  Still, it was a porn dream cum true.  Anyway, no I don't live sex 24/7, but I am pretty sure I think about it at least a few times a day.  Doesn't everyone?