It's wide open Wednesday. No more Hump Day. There is a the.. (OnlyFans)

It's wide open Wednesday.  No more Hump Day.  There is a theme to these photos... they are kind of wide open.  https://onlyfans.com/u125291845  Humpday.  Hate that term.  I rarely get laid on hump day.  It seems to be my most unlucky day for getting humped.  I should work on that.  Change the Karma up or something goofy like that.  What’s new.  My vagina went penis free last night.  In other words, it went vegan.  What the fuck guys?  If my vagina even gets a whiff of a stiff dick right now, it’s going to need a “ShamWow.”  Remember those?  I don’t even know what they were or are, but they sure sucked up a lot of puddles on the commercial.  So basically what I’m saying is my box needs a cock massage… it’s under a lot of stress right this minute.  I hate to be the one to inform you of this, but apparently guys miss signals.  If I grab your ass… no matter where we might be… I want to fuck.  If I smack your ass… I really want to fuck.  I’m not just goofing around.  That’s my pussy telling you to do something with it.  If I grab your ass in the store… fuck me in the car.  Take me in the bathroom, just stick it the fuck in and I will do the rest.  I miss the cave dweller days which was like 10 or 15 yrs ago.  When guys would say the worst shit and I would smile and grade them on their sexual harassment abilities.  The higher the grade, the more likely I would drink their sperm.  Ah, the good old days.  I like straight men way more than I do gay men.  Less competition.  I don’t have to be fighting off competition for the hot guy in the room when I’m with straight men.  I like straight women more than gay women.  They aren’t as needy.  I consider myself extremely gay as well as extremely straight.  It’s a hard trick to pull off, but I have mastered the craft.  It can be frustrating when you have to make a choice between one or the other, but the guys tend to win because cocks do way more wonderful things both visually and physically.  I’m going on and on about what I don’t even know anymore.  So, there will be at the minimum a blowjob video today, maybe more if I can convince him to do so.  I am biting the bullet on this one and I’m doing it for you guys.  My pussy is like fuck the camera, just fuck me till I drool jizz.  My unselfish side is saying film it, you can always whack yourself off later if you don’t cum.  Yes, lets drop the truth bomb.  Yes, I do cum when I’m fucking guys for fun and video it.  I don’t cum near as hard though.  Too much going on.  Sometimes shit doesn’t go as planned and I don’t get off, which makes my box very upset.  So I finish the job manually afterwards.  With that said, I will now give the signal at the end of each video that will tell you if I came.  That signal being a thumbs up!  If I give no signal, then I did not.  I mean, I don’t want to be giving a thumbs down because everyone knows what that means and I don’t want to socially rude.  But you will know so there’s that.

How about some unhappy fan reader mail?  That’s always good for a chuckle.  I posted something on Instagram.  Some of you have obviously seen it.  It’s me smoking a cigar.  That invoked some odd feelings in several fans.  Not quite sure why.  I will include the picture for your perusal.

Mike writes ”mike_dubbs33”

“Just stop this is painful! Fucking dork”

Yet he still follows me oddly enough.  Dork.  Is that even a bad thing anymore?  I am pretty sure he lives in the area and has been asking me if I have seen his jacked up truck.  I could be wrong, but probably not.  No, I haven’t seen his jacked up truck.  There are a million jacked up trucks here.  For fuck’s sake, it’s Daytona Beach… home of the jacked up everything.  Now don’t go running to my rescue and try to salvage my feelings from this horrible assault on my fragile emotions.  I remember way back when, when Yahoo Messenger was a thing and I used to kick people off the phone just so I could log onto the internet.  I used to get upset about such things.  Then I realized some of it is actually kind of funny.  If you can’t laugh at yourself, you aren’t living your full life.  I also realized that the people doing the insulting would get super upset if their insults made me laugh.  The more insulting they got, the funnier it became to me.  Weird, I know, but honestly, the best part of getting old is you seriously have zero fucks to give for these types of things.  Plus, I brought this up because I couldn’t stop laughing last night about the use of “Dork.”  I don’t know why it’s funny, but I’m laughing as I type this right now.  Did you ever just find something funny and even though other people are like “Hey, weirdo, it’s not that funny.” but you can’t stop laughing anyway?  That’s where I was and kind of still am on this one.  I mean, this wasn’t the only one I got on this picture.  “SnowPiercer69 writes (Hey old hag you look older than the smoke)”  I am not quite sure what that means but it seems to lack any effort at all as well as zero in the originality or creative department.  I don’t remember tossing insults at anyone randomly, but if I were going to, they would be well thought out and with a touch of pizazz.  Just saying.  Man, I have wasted five minutes on these ding dongs.  Wait.  Let me rephrase that.  I have wasted five minutes on these “dorks.”  That is my new go to word now.  “Dork”  Let’s bring it back and make it popular again.  Thanks, Mike!  Two thumbs up, Mr!

  Anyway, I am out for this post.  I have several posts to put up today, so watch for them! 

Brooke.