Hello everyone, it’s Friday. I got a new toy last night. I.. (OnlyFans)

Hello everyone, it’s Friday.  I got a new toy last night.  It’s large, it’s battery operated, and it vibrates…. a lot.  Every see that yellow sign, I think it’s the slippery when wet sign with the car with the curvy lines behind it, like it’s fishtailing?  That is the sign I need up when I’m using this monster in the car.  It will be appropriate as I will be slippery, wet, and I will be driving all over the road.  Here is a little video I did last night and then after making the video I did it again and blasted my mind out of commission with it.  So what I’m saying is I didn’t put it up.  I was cum dru..nk.  Another banned word.  No, I don’t masturbate 24/7… but when I do; I hit that motherfucker like it owes me money.

You guys ask me a lot of questions and I’m OK with it.  Some are just out of bounds, so I ignore them.  Most are fine though.  Most are about sex, lots about dating which I can’t discuss on here, others about all kinds of things.  Mike wants to know, “How do you know if a guy is a keeper?”  That’s easy.  If I haven’t seen my vibrator since I started dating him, he’s a keeper.  I more guy friends than I do girl friends, the whole friends with benefits thing.  But I am probably a bad friend.  If I weren’t so into the benefits portion of it, I might be a better friend.  Doesn’t matter, the pussy gets what the pussy wants.

Flowers, I like them.  I don’t why; I am not super girly when it comes to that stuff, but I do.  Guys are easy… and cheap.  A blowjob is like a massive bouquet of flowers for men.  I can remember hanging around with a very popular porn couple who I shall not name.  It was Valentines Day, and he got her what he said was a small gift and handed her a small jewelry box.  She blurted out that when he said he was giving her a small gift; she thought he was going to unzip his pants.  I thought it was funny and laughed my ass off.  What I didn’t know is that they hated each other and weren’t long for the world as far as being married was concerned.  I found this out after he grabbed the jewelry box and stormed out of the house.  Awkward.  I did however eat her out for an hour while he was gone.  Hey, don’t judge me, he didn’t want it… I took it.  His loss, my gain type of thing.

I swear the entire news industry is about as pleasant as an itchy butthole.  I turn on hotel TV’s and the news starts up.  It’s the same bullshit it was two years ago, just different players.  Not to dwell in the past but I mentioned on Twitter that 2020 felt like it took about 30 years to get through, and 2021 looks like it might take 31 years to complete.  In comparison, the entire 90s decade went by in a week.  That might be because I am pretty sure there wasn’t a day I didn’t have dick inside me, if not two.  We need another 90s decade and fast.  Just saying.

See you all in a few hours or so, I got more to post today!