I don’t want to have to do it but guys these days seem to wa.. (OnlyFans)

I don’t want to have to do it but guys these days seem to want to hang around after their scheduled dick appointment.  Not sure what’s going on.  I need to put a sign over my bed that says “Cum and go.  No loitering.”  You got 15 minutes of small talk while we clean up but then out the door you go.  I got chicken wings to make, I don’t like sharing, and I got shit to do.  People hanging around screws that up.  I am not a cuddle kitten.  I don’t care about touchy feely things.  I am not a therapist, nor am I wanting to express my emotions.  So if you don’t want me to give you the weird stink eye look… pack it up, shoes on, out the door.  Schedule you soon for another dick appointment.

Good dick slingers are getting harder to find these days.  There used to be solid dick slingers everywhere… now not so much.  I remember when guys just wanted their dick sucked, and that was it.  I was the one who wanted to suck it till your testicles looked liked dried raisins and my skin looked great because I drank all of your man jizz.  Now they want to know what my interests are.  I am interested in sucking your dick, or at least I was, but then you went all Oprah on me.  Just saying.

Someone wants to hire me for an office job.  A fucking office job.  Want’s to know if I can work well with a team.  I don’t know… does a gang bang count as working with a team?  I can drive a train, I do know that.  Some of you will probably be thinking, “OMG! How cool, she can actually drive a train!”  You would be wrong, mostly because you are wrong on what kind of train I am actually driving.  No, I am not working in an office with normal people.  Buy me a bullet and rent me a gun.  I am whacked in the head after all these years of getting slapped in the face with a dick.  You have no idea of the shit I am prone to saying.  I don’t do it on purpose, it just comes out.  My filter is broke.

I need to get fat.  That is the comment of the day.  I actually hear it quite often.  If I get fat, I will get more popular.  The most popular models on Twitter are fat, I should be like them.  That’s the carrot they are dangling.  Lol, go fuck yourself.  What can I do that they can’t do?  Live past 45.  Put my shoes on without wheezing.  Run faster than the fat chicks who are chasing me.  Look, live the way you want and I’ll live the way I want.  I could not care less who is skinny, who is fat.  My best friend in the world has a gut.  I would disappear with him if he would let me.  He won’t but that is for another post.  I will not get fat for the sake of gaining any popularity.  Strange request that I wouldn’t even address if I didn’t get more than just a few.  Why wouldn’t you just go to the fat chick’s OnlyFans?  Why try to convert me into a marshmallow?  I wonder if these “heavier women” get requests to look fit?  I am thinking not.  Sure, they get hate mail, I get tons of it myself, we all do.  The difference is there is zero fucks given on my end about it.  I get a good chuckle at most of it.

Actual comment on Twitter with actual response.

“brooke baby all  I luv U I be hold ur hands an ur shoulder 2 cry in”  

Shoulder to cry in?  did you mean on?  Who wants a shoulder to cry on?  More like a dick to ride on Mr.  Get it right. 

Where they come up with this shit is anybody’s guess.  Why do I want my hand held and for what reason do I need a shoulder to cry on.  Why am I crying and therefore need a shoulder to cry said tears on?  Is there something he knows that I don't?  Is he planning on murdering my dogs or something?  Who knows.