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Happy Sunday Funday!!! It’s been quite a while, I know, you may be asking where have I been? The short version to a long story is: staying alive! I tend to withdrawal in moments of extreme anxiety but then I was hit with a few things that really rocked my world and have been dealing with extreme heart-ache, anxiety and depression. I’ve been keeping to myself while at the same time trying to occupy my time with things that make me happy, like going to the river all summer with a few of my closet friends, but now with the fires here in the West and weather that’s all over. Around 3 months ago I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life, I had to put my furbaby Priscilla to sleep just a few days before her 18th birthday. I was heart broken to say the least! And even tho the clubs had just opened back up here in Portland, kind of, I had to take several weeks off. I wasn’t making more than like $20 a shift anyways so it seemed a waste of time while I was grieving. In that time, the one person/human contact I had during lockdown besides the grocery store, died of an over dose. The last time I saw him was weeks earlier as I kicked him out of my house over substances I didn’t want in my house! I thought I was coping but it turns out I wasn’t. I feel like I’ve been a hot mess. I have not been making money at work and I feel like crying all the time. Part of my problem is I miss performing for a crowd, it’s become part of my identity and I guess I’m having an identity crisis you might say! First of all, all my traveling gigs for 2020, cancelled! And second, masks and clown makeup don’t mix! I’m still trying to figure it out, so I mostly go to work just as me, which is not as entertaining Ion tip of all that I’m dealing with bullies at work trying to get me fired, while I know it’s professional jealousy, it comes at a time I don’t feel up for a fight! I know this is a lot to pop back up with after months of being gone, I’m breaking my silence because being silent and withdrawn wasn’t working either and now I’m broke with nothing to lose, so I guess I’m back to posting on all the things. I know I owe several of you return messages, please give me a few days and I promise I will respond to all of you! Meanwhile I’m here at working shaking my ass for zero dollars so I thought I’d share my ass with you all for Sunday Bumday instead! #sundayfunday #sundaybumday #tipher #makeitrain #imbackbitches #turncliwnforwhat

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