1. I wanted to start with good things that happened to me. A.. (OnlyFans)

1. I wanted to start with good things that happened to me. As I moved to the west of Ukraine farther from war I started doing what I dreamed about for a long time - acrobatics and calisthenics. I’m happy with my results, my biggest dreams towards sport were to be able to do a backflip and now I am able to do not only that but lots of other cool flips and tricks, muscle ups - I’m finally able to do them and I still can’t believe it, one arm handstand - I still need a lot of practice to reach full control in it but I’m now able to hold it for 8-10 seconds and it’s a huge progress as it used to be 2-3 seconds for years. 
But I wish it was that simple for me: consistency, many tries, hard work and you get wanted results. 
But my spine can’t handle all of this, I got two disc protrusions in my neck and one in my lumbar spine. I went to rehabilitation specialist, got some injections but for now it’s not helping, my neck is killing me so much I can’t get up in the morning without tears for the last 3 days. What I know would help is exclude acrobatics completely for the health of my lumbar spine and most of my favorite calisthenics exercises such as muscle up and front lever to go easy on my neck. 
But I’m not ready to make this choice. I know I’m stupid for this and it’s not worth my health but it was and still is my dream, I can’t live without it. I think I might be having a little unhealthy addiction.