Wellp… it’s my birthday now. And tbh, I’m feeling kind of te.. (OnlyFans)

Wellp… it’s my birthday now. And tbh, I’m feeling kind of terrible. It’s been a rough year. Granted I feel like I’ve been saying that for a few years now, but I guess the older I get the more I realize that feeling might not ever go away… idk… anyways. I’m going to re-release these photos as a set in the morning. you can see me from back when I was happier. 

looking back at these photos I feel pretty sad honestly. I was actually still depressed back then but not nearly as impacted by it in my day to day life as I am right now. I guess you can say I was so much more hopeful back then. Depressed - but thought maybe things could get better. All these years later, I feel that is less and less possible or true the older I get. I’ve become really cynical about life lately. It’s really not fun, and I know it’s not great - it’s especially terrible to be so pessimistic when I’m supposed to be fun and happy, or at last pleasant to talk to, for my job. 

Idk. I’m trying to make the most of it, and I’m going to try to do some fun things today, but if I’m being brutally honest I am starting out this birthday extremely let down and not very hopeful for the upcoming year. I wish I had something positive or inspirational to share, but honestly, I just don’t. 

If you want to see me genuinely happier and cute and hopeful and joyous and all that, then you might enjoy my set I’ll post later. Who knows, maybe some support on it will help me feel a little better because I’ll be a tad bit less stressed about paying my bills this month haha. I’m sorry I’m so negative right now. It’s the reason I’ve been choosing to be quiet on the internet. I don’t wanna just spread negativity but I also don’t want to be fake and pretend I’m happy online when I’m truly not. Anyways, I’m sorry if that makes following me a not enjoyable experience. I hope that those of you who do stick around appreciate my authenticity, at the very least. See u later.