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Well holy shit. The last 30 hours has been insane. So it starts Saturday morning at 4am, and it’s the fourth morning in a row I wake up and I can’t breathe.

So we go to the ER and I get a breathing treatment and run some tests. Turns out I have RAD (I always knew I was rad 😂) which is reactive airway disease, an asthma-like condition that is triggered by certain smells/chemicals. Turns out the house renovation kicked up some shit that tried to kill me. But here’s the real what the fuck:

I’m in the hospital room with slaveboy. We’re alone and so I let out a huge fart. And omg it stinks. And then all of a sudden, the smell hits my throat and I can’t breathe again. They had to run in and do another nebulizer on me!

So do you know what this means? I now literally have a “medical prescription” for a fart sniffing filter! I mean I literally can’t even handle smelling my farts now. I could actually die!

What a cruel twist of fate. If there was ever any doubt, slaveboy knows now that he’s stuck with my gassy ass for the rest of his agonizing days! Hahahaha 😈

Oh and I’m still having trouble breathing but the medicine is helping and I am recovering. Sorry for the delays in replying to DMs and posting!! I hope to be back to it in a couple more days.

Thank fucking god I have a pathetic, suffering slave to serve me! In every single gross way imaginable! 😈😈😍😍