Untitled (Fansly)

我对自己的拍摄视频的方法，视频的内容，以及视频的后期处理(调色，剪辑)产生了一种焦虑，最后的成品就像没有灵魂一样，让人感到麻木，我甚至都不太想去回看一遍自己录制剪辑完的视频，即便如此我还是每天观看大量的日本盗版色情片，希望能从中学到一些东西，不过当我化完妆走进那个房间的时候，脑袋一片空白，我的脑袋似乎不愿意去思考
I have developed an anxiety about my method of shooting videos, the content of the videos, and the post processing (color matching, editing) of the videos.
 The final product feels like it has no soul, making people feel numb. 
I don't even want to go back and watch the videos I have recorded and edited. Nevertheless,
 I still watch a large number of pirated Japanese pornographic films every day, hoping to learn something from it, But when I finished putting on makeup and walked into that room, my mind went blank. 
My brain seems unwilling to think,