Untitled (Fansly)

Update hiii

After a few weeks of trying to get my brain to stop thinking the worst about everything I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel 

I’m really sorry for not posting like I said I would, holiday times bring back a lot of hard memories for people to deal with me included and I think they hit me harder than I thought this year. I usually fall back into depression around Christmas but I’m hoping that cleaning my place, and working on content will help keep it away 

I didn’t end up making content with that girl and every guy I talk to about making content sounds like a kid going to the candy shop for the first time “idk if that makes sense”

Like I’ll match with guys on dating sites and they wanna know if I wanna see photos of their dick, what my kinks are, and those conversations are more of a turn off for me now because I just wanna have a normal conversation getting to know someone 

Just because I make porn doesn’t mean I breath eat sleep porn making :) it’s not the only thing I wanna talk about and when I’m getting to know someone I wanna know them not their dick

But I’ve had no luck where I live meeting up with people and the thought of trying to is starting to give me anxiety cause something always goes wrong 

Right now I’m really excited for new world.
When I first started posting I was so excited to share everything with you guys 

I think deep down I thought sharing everything about myself would attract someone to me so I wouldn’t be alone but I guess that plan backfired hard 

I hope I’m excited to make content and stuff but  right now it’s hard for my brain to feel confident when I’m always alone and that’s something I can’t change or at least don’t have energy to keep trying to right now 

The things that help me feel better each day is hearing my friends voices online when we play that makes me feel surrounded by people, I love it when we’re having fun cause I’m done with stress and angry people 

It cut off the rest of my message but I just wanted you to know I hope you’re doi