Fun fact #3: I hate spending money. I’m one of those. The .. (OnlyFans)

Fun fact #3: 

I hate spending money. I’m one of those. The type to save for emergencies 

I didn’t used to be like this but I think COVID messed with me a bit. Saving for my health is my top priority right now but it can’t be that way forever or else im going to miss out on opportunities, you know?  I need to shake this fear that 
1. my income will be taken away from me at any moment 
2. my health will he taken away from me at any moment. 
3. both of these at the same time...

I think it has a lot to do with my parent’s relationship with money. We didn’t talk about how much we had as a family, but we all knew and could feel when things were tough. And seeing (and feeling) two people I love most in this world stress about money ever since I was a little girl makes me want to never ever spend money on anything meaningless. I guess the word meaning is different for everyone, and I most certainly use the term to sabotage pleasurable things and the dopamine rush you get when you buy a new bag or some cute shoes. 

 I’ve been working on it in therapy a bunch and recently my therapist gave me homework to buy something nice for myself after a really intense trauma session. 

So I bought this robe! I can justify it’s value and the pleasure it will bring to my life. It will be perfect for no screen Mondays when I do my face masks and meditate with a hair mask in. So then in my mind, it was worth the price point. I think. Maybe. 

Do you like it?