It’s Friday and Friday is my second favorite F word. Why you.. (OnlyFans)

It’s Friday and Friday is my second favorite F word. Why you ask? Because it is the day I am most likely to get laid. It is also the day I am most likely to be introduced to a penis that I have never met before. If there’s one thing in life, it’s that I know I enjoy its meeting a new penis or three. I’ve pretty much given up on meeting hot chicks because, mostly, any gayness is all for show. And, they don’t have dicks. And lately, I have been on a serious dick craving binge. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. If I see a new guy, I instantly wonder what his dick looks like. I’m talking to the kid at Target and end up staring at his crotch, trying to get an idea of what he might be packing. Yeah, I know, I might need to see someone about this. Here’s how I justify all of this, though. I don’t drink, never get near any drugs, my family is super successful, so I couldn’t have done things to wrong. So I guess what I’m saying is I’m going to keep doing what I do because it’s working and I enjoy staring at dick. Look, you guys stare at tits. I’m simply doing the same, but just replacing the tits with dicks. So by all means guys feel free to walk around with a semi so I can get an idea of what you’ve got hanging around in your pants. I’m just saying.

I know how to get a man's attention when I say tension I mean undivided attention. You simply put both his balls in your hand. I guarantee he is paying attention at that point. I could be wrong, but I'm not. The balls are something I never forget. They fascinate me to the point of fixation. What I would give to know what it feels like to have testicles and have them being held and massaged while cumming. I'm a let it go right here because it works me up too much thinking about. Anyway, moving on.

Someone asked me what I thought about the war in the Ukraine. What do I think about it? War is how we teach Americans geography. I think if you don’t know on the map where the war is being fought, then one should keep their mouth shut. I think it would be safe to say that 999 porn chicks out of a thousand have absolutely no idea where Russia is on the map, let alone the Ukraine. War isn’t about who’s right or wrong, it’s about who’s left at the end. I think the world is dealing with an angry, unstable person who isn’t going to go home empty-handed and we should be prepared to deal with the consequences if someone in his inner circle doesn’t stop him. That is an opinion, and I could be wrong.

I've come to this conclusion. Without nipples, press would be absolutely pointless. I'm just saying.

I get a lot of women who tell me all the terrible things their guys do. Most of it's about cheating on them. I always ask these women about their sex lives. And it is almost always the same damn story. There is no sex life. Which throws me for a loop because what did they think was going to happen? I know everybody should love everybody, even if they're not having sex. My ass. If we’re not fucking, we’re not a thing. Sorry about that, people, but I'm not hanging around anybody who isn't sticking their dick in me regularly, no matter how great a person he may be. So I told the last chick that her husband wasn't cheating on her, he was cheating on her vagina. I told her to quit treating herself like a sex object, In other words, every time he wants sex, she objects. For fuck's sake, lube it up and stuff it once in a while. It will change your outlook on life. I know sex without love is a meaningless experience. But, on that note, let me tell you, as far as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty fucking good stuff, if you know what I mean. Why am I bitching about this? I just tire of listening to it. It’s sex, it's messy and sloppy and gooey wet and it's the most fun you're ever going to have if done properly. I have nailed the “if done properly” to the point of perfection. I'm just saying.