Someone asked me if I thought I masturbated too much? Wait,.. (OnlyFans)

Someone asked me if I thought I masturbated too much?  Wait, is that even possible?  So I googled it.  Apparently, if you masturbate at inappropriate times, then you masturbate too much.  I mean, when is it problematic?  If you're a dude, it's probably not a good idea to start rubbing one out when you're getting a prostate exam from your doctor. But chicks?  We get more leeway.  I could start rubbing one out on a bus and probably get away with it.  Guys, you are getting dropped off at the sex offender academy known as prison.

I made a joke about masturbation a few months ago, and a lady asked me if I really do masturbate as much as I said I did.  My answer to her was, "Yes, and I always think of you when I do. Would you like to watch?" She didn't ask any more questions. 

Look, I am a firm believer in masturbation.  Got a serious life problem? Rub one out.  It's pretty much my go-to answer to everything.  Not saying it works for everyone, but it couldn't hurt to try it.  Unless, of course, it's humid out, and you don't have any lube.  Then you got to watch out for hot spots, if you know what I mean!

Women like to ask me why I don't have a boyfriend or husband.  They ask that a lot.  My go-to reply is, "I'm waiting for your son to turn 18."  They usually quit asking after that. Plus, they think I'm serious.  I might just be.  I'll never tell.